Feeds:
Posts
Comments

Deep inside your soul, there is a blueprint that is unique to each and every one of us.  This blueprint goes far beyond your DNA, it is part of your energy body as well as your physical body.  You are given clues to your path each time you take a step forward, and gentle nudges when you take a step backwards.  When you listen to the whispers, your life runs along smoothly, even if it has a few lessons to learn along the way, you still feel at peace with your path.  If you aren’t listening, the potholes on the path can hurt.  Even though you may fall, you always have your inner knowing to re-direct you back to the smoother path.

I personally have spent a year not listening to my inner wisdom.  Though the path was actually fairly smooth, it was not my true self and I ended up in a deep depression.  I could no longer see a future for myself and I was hiding the real me from the new people in my life.  I am a Healer and I was completely fighting that path.  It was way easier to just go to work at a job and collect a paycheque.  Don’t get me wrong, it is a good part of my life, but because I wasn’t speaking my truth, I hit a wall.  It took alot of work and energy therapy sessions to get me back on track again.  Once I finally accepted that my soul’s path is to be a Healer, I began to really recover from my depression.

Realizing your true path – or speaking your truth – is the easy part.  Following through can be alot harder to do.  It takes alot of self reflection, healing, and inner work to stay on that path.  You need to learn to balance all of the parts of you and follow through with what your soul is meant to do.  Your true soul path isn’t necessarily what you do to make a living, but it is what you do to make a life.  It’s what you do to make you happy, and not what you do to make other people happy.  It’s not about saving the world either, it is just about the lessons that you need to learn in this lifetime.

If you are not sure of your truth, take some time to meditate, reflect, and pray as you choose.  Take time to just sit in quiet and stillness and listen to what the universe has to say to you, and then take the steps to fulfill your path.  Your life will feel much more balanced and peaceful if you do this.

Advertisements

True Family


I was raised with the belief that, “Family is everything”.  Sadly this programming has set me up for many heart breaks and alot of sadness.  I grew up thinking that this included my extended family, which includes cousins, second cousins etc.  Family should be there to support you no matter what.  Family should be there when no one else is stepping forward.  Family is blood and tied by blood.  “Blood is thicker than water”.  In truth, my discovery many years ago as to what this quote actually means should have been my first clue.  This statement does not mean that your ties to your family are stronger than your ties to those with whom you choose to bond.  In its entirety, the quote actually reads, “The blood of the covenant is thicker than the waters of the womb.”  That gives it a whole new meaning, doesn’t it?  Family should be those people that stand by you, they are the ones that love you unconditionally.  They are the ones that support you through crisis rather than mock you.  These are the ones, even if they don’t agree with you, will still understand your point of view and where you are coming from.

I have gone through alot of hell in my life.  There are things that I have never told anyone because I didn’t want them to have to hold that same pain that I was enduring.  I have been molded by my life experience and have gone through dark periods where I needed my family the most, and they weren’t there.  When I was four years old, my life was taken from me in the vilest of ways and changed the outcome of my life entirely.  From the ages of 12 to 18 I have pieces of my life that were so dark, but I cannot block them from my mind. I had no choice but to separate myself at that time from everyone in my life because I didn’t know who I could even trust.  The people that were there for me, are the people that choose to be my family…many of which are not related by blood.  So, because I was raised with the notion of family is everything, I have set myself up for heart ache and a shattered soul.  In reality, just because you are related to someone does not mean that you can trust them.  Just because you grew up with the same people and the same amazing Grandparents, doesn’t mean that they are all good people.  Just because you would personally drop what you are doing to go to a family members aid, does not mean they would do it for you.  And just because someone is your blood, does not mean that they don’t hide dark secrets that can destroy your illusion of them or your illusion of what family means.

I am finally learning.  I am coming to a point in my own life where I need to cut ties to the people that hurt me over and over.  I am finally learning that I am in charge of who gets to be in my heart, and that I can’t just believe the elders in the family who tell me that we have to get along because we are family.  I don’t have to…and I can’t.  Neither do you.  None of us have to spend time with people that make us uncomfortable.  If you have panic attacks whenever you think of family gatherings, or class reunions, or team building outings, then you simply don’t need to put yourself in that situation.  We are not meant to live a life with anything less than joy, and if you have to cut people then do it.  My children are adults, but I have found out that I still need to protect them from narrow minded, uneducated trolls that spew hate…and ya…some of those people are family.  I have to change my perception of family and its ok for you to do so as well, and if this blog causes some of my family to cut their ties with me, then please do so now so that we can all just move forward in joy.  I don’t want to be the cause of your pain, any more than I want to be in pain.  I will always hold the love in my heart, and I set you free with nothing but love.

Change is in the Air


Well, it is September 1st.  The beginning of September has always signified to me the end of one chapter and the beginning of another.  Summer is over, and Autumn is beginning, the plants and animals are all getting ready for the coming winter.  Some animals are preparing for hibernating away from the frigid cold we have here in Saskatchewan.  Students are buckling down for another year of school, and adults kiss the lazy days of their vacations goodbye.  The foliage on the trees are changing color and dropping away, making it hard for birds to hide away.  Flowers are dropping their seeds which are being covered over by the falling leaves of the plant, to be nurtured and protected until the following spring.

I have also had a summer season of incredible growth – as have many others that I have spoken too – and now it is time to shed the cocoon that I have used to protect me for all these years.  I have allowed my voice to become stronger in sharing my story, I have shared ways to speak your truth with many people that have crossed my path, and I have written many articles about speaking your truth.

A treasured friend pointed out to me last night that I am not being entirely honest with myself or others as I have been hiding in my cocoon.  She made me realize that I have been afraid of the “witch hunt”, which is something I have faced over and over again in various aspects of my life.  So, in allowing fear to hold me, I am not becoming the awesome being that I am meant to be.  I also realized that I was hiding behind a simple word that really doesn’t describe the truth of me.  So many of us do that.  We are so afraid of labelling that we are misguided in how we describe even ourselves.  Sometimes all it takes to change your whole outlook on life and who you are is to change the word that you use to describe yourself, and to change the definition of who you are.  You can go from a victim to a survivor, a student to a teacher, disabled to empowered.  It really only takes a spark of light and a little bit of nurturing to grow you into who you really are…just like that flower goes from seed, to bud, to blooming.

I wish you all peace and blessings as you begin to use that one word that truly describes who you are.  As for me, you will have to follow my news and views to see who I am embracing!!

Dealing With Triggers


If you don’t know what a trigger is, it is an event, smell, sight, or sound that causes you to flash back to the traumatic event that you suffered. You never know when it is going to hit you or how it will affect you when it does.  You may not always react when you find yourself around that trigger, but it is good to be aware of what triggers you, and how you can soften the effects.

Before I learned about holistic approaches to healing from sexual assault, I would often find myself anxious and fearing things that didn’t make sense.  I could not figure out why I would be afraid of the things I was afraid of.  I had no idea what was setting off my flood of emotions.  I had never been taught awareness – I had only been taught to bury the event and the feelings deep inside, because it was over, all in the past.  I truly believed that I was ‘over’ the events.  I didn’t realize just how deeply my life was affected.

Twenty-five years later, I found myself re-living everything.  Every detail of the assault, and then other memories of other events began to surface.  I was totally unprepared for the flood of emotion and my mind and body shut down on me in defense.  I had absolutely no idea how to cope with the memories because I had never been taught the tools.  It takes more than just talk therapy and medication (though these are both very important) to help you get through triggers.

In my experience, the quickest way to heal, and to avoid being triggered in the first place is awareness.  You need to be fully aware of what triggers you so that you can change the memories.  For example, if you are triggered by the scent of grass, re-train your mind to associate the smell of grass with happier memories.  Tell yourself that it is ok to feel what you feel, but the feelings are not allowed to control you.  Change the way you perceive the smell of grass.  When you go outside and sit in the fresh cut grass, really feel the sensations that you experience now.  Notice how warm the sun is, how soft the grass is beneath you.  Allow it to create a sense of peace for you instead of panic and anxiety.  Use visualization to create a new image in your mind that you can go to as soon as you feel yourself heading back into the dark.

Meditation can be a form of self hypnosis as well.  You can have someone guide you, or you can just read a meditation script yourself.  Create a space in your mind that you can quickly visit if you are triggered by an event you see on TV or in a movie.  Go to that place and remember that you are a Survivor – not a victim.  It is not happening to YOU, you are an observer and are able to lend support from your experience.  Use meditation to visit those dark times in your mind, and change the outcome.  You can use many different scenarios in order to let go of the past.

It is not a short or easy process to have to re-live certain events, but I assure you that having the tools to cope and change your perceptions will most certainly make your future journey less bumpy!

Growth!!


image

“I am me, and I am happy with that!”

Spirit Haven, or rather – I, have been experiencing a great deal of growth over the last year.  Many opportunities have opened up to me.  I was able to be a part of a group of healers in Saskatoon for a few months, and then with growth and change, my current place of business allowed me to stay closer to home.

I have taken many classes and workshops that have helped me to grow as a healer, a teacher, a facilitator and even as a volunteer support worker.  I have grown professionally, personally, emotionally, mentally and spiritually.

In the last couple of weeks, my mind has been on creation over time.  I am experiencing a constant flow of awesome possibilities and opportunities, and I am very excited to share this journey with all of my current and future clients and students!

Over the next few weeks you will be seeing some changes to my business.  I no longer have to hide behind a logo and business name.  My business will always be fuelled by me, therefore I am choosing to put ME foremost in my business!  This is a huge step for me and I thank everyone for their continuous support…we all need people to push us along.  So, as of this moment, the first change that you are seeing is the change of my business name:  “Spirit Haven” is now “Vicki Lund, Spirit Haven Therapies”.  And, I have also realized that I am ME and I don’t always have to wait until a better day to upload a new photo.  So, here is the me that I am today, and I am happy with that!  Munay!!

 

 


You are in the midst of the flashbacks and memories, the nightmares and the night sweats.  You are seeing yourdepression_by_jxdx counsellor regularly and you have a psychiatrist on speed dial.  You feel like you should be better – this crap happened a long time ago, so why can’t you get rid of it?

Everyone has different ways of healing, and the physiology of the brain differs from person to person.  We have no idea how someone else may react to a violent situation in their lives.  Sometimes, something that may seem very simple to one person is actually extremely traumatic for another.  I like to look at the brain as a recording device.  It not only functions to keep us alive and control our every move, but it also has the power to keep or erase any memories of experiences that we have in our lives.  If you set your DVR to record a television show, you have the choice to either keep the show, erase part of it, or erase the whole thing.  Sometimes our brains won’t let us erase those memories that may be having a negative impact on our lives.  We have to learn tools that will help us remove those memories, or make them less traumatic.

We have an automatic response system that kicks in, and a lot of this comes from what you have learned over the course of a lifetime.  If you have lived in an environment that teaches you to react in an angry or high stress way, that is how you will respond to trauma.  If you have lived in a typically peaceful environment, you will be more likely to get through the trauma more quickly.  However….this is NOT always the case.  I personally grew up in a very loving and attentive family.  They were supportive through the whole process from believing me when I told them that I had been sexually assaulted, right down to making sure I had all of the resources and coping tools that I needed.  For the most part, I was as okay as I could be at the time, but had a breakdown 25 years later when constant exposure to the people and place triggered P.T.S.D.

It was at that time that I really began looking at alternative therapies to help me through.  I had hit a wall that was so big that the fallout buried me deep for a long time.  I found that I needed more than the doctor and counsellor could provide to me.  I needed to look deep inside myself to find the healing that I needed.  A large piece of me was broken and I was the only one that could repair it at this time.  I had all the support in the world, but there was some tool that was missing.

I had already begun a journey of using meditation, and had already taken my level one Reiki before I broke down, but I was too blind and self absorbed at the time to actually use these things to my benefit.  I was also having a spiritual crisis at the time which took away any belief that I might have had that it was possible to heal myself.  I was also beginning to have memories of other abuse, and realized that in order to move forward, I had to find out the truth that was within me.  I found a therapist about 2 and a half hours away from me that specialized in something called ‘Time Line Therapy’ and also used hypnotism in the session.  This began my journey of self-healing.  I learned from that session that we have all of the tools we need right within us to provide healing to ourselves and to others.

Learning how to meditate is a great tool for relieving the stress and anxiety of flashbacks, and it is also a great way to re-wire your brain.  Meditation skills are also the base for most energy healing modalities.  When you relax with meditation, you open yourself wider to allowing healing to happen.  Meditation before bed can help you have a night free of nightmares.  Learning about ‘safe places’ and ‘spiritual healing spaces’ that you create in your mind through meditation will give you a safe place to be mentally even if you are not in a safe place physically.

Meditation is easier than you may think.  Many people think that they can’t meditate – or that you have to have a lot of discipline to meditate.  There are many ways to meditate and EVERYONE can do it.  If you are suffering from any kind of mental distress, find someone near you that teaches meditation.  It isn’t an overnight fix, but it will definitely be a great start to a true journey of healing!

Birthdays and Renewal


Yesterday was my birthday.  I don’t normally put a lot of thought into my own birthday, but this year held many ‘anniversaries’ for me.  I turned 45 and realized that I feel better now than I have in a long, long time.  This birthday marks 30 years since my life was turned upside down by three rapists that I thought were my friends, and 5 years since I was officially diagnosed with PTSD.

When I was diagnosed with PTSD, I was relieved.  I finally knew that it was normal to have the feelings that I was having.  I felt like I just wanted to be gone.  I felt like it would be better for everyone in my life if I just disappeared because I wasn’t able to properly function in life at all.  Every day, every thought, every word, every sleep, every sight, every sound – took me back to the day that IT happened.  Only this time it was worse because I was reliving it every single day, which I didn’t do when it originally happened.  I had numbed myself for 25 years, so much so that I had no feelings left whatsoever.

As I look back on that time, I realize that hitting that huge wall of pain was actually the best thing that had happened to me in a long time.  It made me face my demons and the pain that I didn’t even know still existed within me.  It brought things to the surface that needed healing – things that I didn’t know were affecting my entire life.  I learned that I had been molested as a child, and that had created many of the issues that I went through as a teenager.  This huge block that caused me so much pain for such a short time, actually create a whole new world for me.  I am who I am because of those things that happened in my past.

I learned a lot about healing, and what works and what doesn’t.  It opened the doors for me as an energy healer because I learned so much about myself, that I began to have more confidence in using my skills and experiences to help others on their healing journey.  I learned that we need to heal as a whole.  It takes more than just visiting the doctor.  We need to take on our healing as it applies to the mind, body and spirit.  Everything about you is affected by mental illness of any kind.  True healing can only come when you combine therapies to create a whole balance.

This year on my birthday, I was feeling blessed to be surrounded by so many people that have aided me in my healing journey.  I am grateful to all that have taught me what I have learned, that held me when I cried, and that used their talents and abilities to help me heal.  I am grateful to be able to tell you today that your life will get better, and that you can heal.  It may not seem like it, but it WILL come.  I encourage you to take the steps to holistic health, and you will be amazed at how far you can go!