Yesterday was my birthday. I don’t normally put a lot of thought into my own birthday, but this year held many ‘anniversaries’ for me. I turned 45 and realized that I feel better now than I have in a long, long time. This birthday marks 30 years since my life was turned upside down by three rapists that I thought were my friends, and 5 years since I was officially diagnosed with PTSD.
When I was diagnosed with PTSD, I was relieved. I finally knew that it was normal to have the feelings that I was having. I felt like I just wanted to be gone. I felt like it would be better for everyone in my life if I just disappeared because I wasn’t able to properly function in life at all. Every day, every thought, every word, every sleep, every sight, every sound – took me back to the day that IT happened. Only this time it was worse because I was reliving it every single day, which I didn’t do when it originally happened. I had numbed myself for 25 years, so much so that I had no feelings left whatsoever.
As I look back on that time, I realize that hitting that huge wall of pain was actually the best thing that had happened to me in a long time. It made me face my demons and the pain that I didn’t even know still existed within me. It brought things to the surface that needed healing – things that I didn’t know were affecting my entire life. I learned that I had been molested as a child, and that had created many of the issues that I went through as a teenager. This huge block that caused me so much pain for such a short time, actually create a whole new world for me. I am who I am because of those things that happened in my past.
I learned a lot about healing, and what works and what doesn’t. It opened the doors for me as an energy healer because I learned so much about myself, that I began to have more confidence in using my skills and experiences to help others on their healing journey. I learned that we need to heal as a whole. It takes more than just visiting the doctor. We need to take on our healing as it applies to the mind, body and spirit. Everything about you is affected by mental illness of any kind. True healing can only come when you combine therapies to create a whole balance.
This year on my birthday, I was feeling blessed to be surrounded by so many people that have aided me in my healing journey. I am grateful to all that have taught me what I have learned, that held me when I cried, and that used their talents and abilities to help me heal. I am grateful to be able to tell you today that your life will get better, and that you can heal. It may not seem like it, but it WILL come. I encourage you to take the steps to holistic health, and you will be amazed at how far you can go!