For those of you who do not know me, I have a very loud mind. It is constantly working, thinking, imagining and talking. If I do not have thoughts going through my head, I have music playing over the loud speakers of my mind. Even though I practise meditation daily, and lead others in meditation, I have a very hard time quietening my mind!
A few years ago, the constant chaos in my head started over powering that voice that I needed to hear, that special voice that we all need to hear. My ego had started drowning out my Spirit. I lost that part of me that was as essential to my Being as breath and nourishment. When things are not going the way you think they should be going, you tend to lose faith in that inner voice that leads your intuition. At that time, I had been feeling restless – perhaps a bit bored, and ended up taking myself down a path that I wasn’t meant to be on. Don’t get me wrong – I have met people that I wouldn’t otherwise have met, and I have learned some valuable life lessons. However, I did not listen to my intuition, to the little voice that said, “Put on the brakes! You’re heading down the wrong road!” I let my ego get in the way. My ego said, “Well, this path might be less bumpy, so let’s head in that direction instead.” What my ego didn’t know was that the pavement was missing halfway down the road, and the detour would be long and rough.
In the last few months I have once again started feeling that little worm inside my tummy, the one that starts wriggling around when it’s time for a huge life change. I have gone through periods of intense anxiety wondering when this chapter in my life will close so that I can finally be travelling the right path. I have spent time studying, meditating and praying hoping that all of my preparation would be enough to close this book and finally learn what my new path would entail. Each time that I thought that I finally understood what the lesson was that I was supposed to learn from my trials, I would once again spin my tires. Time after time after time after time.
I failed to see what was right in front of me the whole time. I was not quieting the chatter of my ego enough to listen to what my Spirit had been trying to tell me. I was not letting go of my materialistic expectations. I was not allowing God and the Universe to work on my behalf towards what is best for me. I was “waiting” for my new path to reveal itself to me, and it took a very wise woman in my life to point out that I am already travelling the path that I am meant to be on. The part of my life that I feel is in the way was blinding me and testing me, and I was failing the tests by my own ego fed reactions.
My life has changed dramatically since I finally “got it”. My big AHA moment did not come to me in a loud booming voice from outside of myself, but from a gentle whisper in my ear – my Spirit saying, “I’m glad you finally listened. All we expect is that you listen to us – and let go!” When you let go of all of those things that you think are standing in your way, even if you have to endure them for just a little while longer, you find out that the little worm inside your tummy has morphed into a beautiful butterfly ready to lead you on the wonderful journey of life.
I look forward to sharing this new journey in my life with all of you. May we learn and grow together, and may you all learn how to quiet your mind so your spirit can speak!
Please remember that this article is copyrighted material written by Vicki J. Lund for ‘Spirit Haven’. You may share the words expressed here as long as you include my byline. No part of this may be reproduced for the purpose of making money, other than by the author.